At first, I thought it was escapism
But now I know that it’s because I always miss what my life could have been. I’m always striving for the best and it’s never enough. Ever.
Bcn
Sitting on the balcony of my room in Barcelona while facing hanging laundry that’s been dry for days. Calmed from the celebrations of Pride. Boostive guided me home with my arms high up. The only gift that didn’t really leave me. It’s so special and somehow only few rare souls understand. “When you feel it” it’s so damn good.
Really though, I can’t wait to go back to my old journals. They’re barely documented but still they are a part of vague stories within my wild life. I allowed something to see it and by something I mean a piece of paper. As wronged as I was my creativity flowed. Yet, it was the strongest afterwards but now it breaks my heart to say that just weakened to a point I never thought was possible for me. I’m on the journey to find it again. So far, it’s been a long one. I mind, yet, almost don’t. I’m waiting for it to be over as a tear drops down my face and the sax takes over…
Scottsdale, Arizona
Where the girls are friendly unless you are a man.
Maybe, I'll get it right the next time.
Your birthday. Yesterday was strange, a day unlike any other, more special than most, more memory filled than most. Really, it's became so hard to forget everything that has shaped me. The protection you kept pouring. The boosts you kept giving. The life that I spent a few years running away from but now can't run towards anymore.
We felt a similar pain. We listened to each others pain. We said “fuck that” to each others agony. Always, a phone call away, except for the one that mattered the most. I wish I picked up to tell you about all the turmoil I go thru, maybe then you’d be more okay with your own.
The sunset screamed a heavenly essence, Los Angeles felt you. Out in the cold, on 7th, with a candle lit, singing our youthful tunes. Lil rob’s summer nights on a winter day, hoping by some miracle i’d get to watch the sun come up just one more time. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll get it right the next time. Maybe I won't run away tomorrow. Maybe I'll be an escape artist for the rest of my life. Maybe, my addiction to change will die down. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get it right this time.
Although, the same but different, at least I see more clearly.
Deep in the Mojave
That’s all changed now.
We build together or we don’t at all.
I suppose.
Although, blessing.
Never not in my mind not even for day, a hour, or a moment. Never really left, never really since day one. Never really since Tokyo. Then, again, only momentarily, never enough time without it running through. I just wish it could have been the same on the other side. I only wish there could have been courage from either, or.
Can't Be
When you unconsciously wipe your subconscious clean of dirt.
Squeeky clean with a hint of charcoal and a click of delete.
2.6 gb of data, seems like it should have been more.
Seems like it’s be around forever, in a zone, hitting that, wiped clean.
Forever away, as it should have been.
Tonight, that form is gone.
Now the possibilities of the expansion of wings. Glowing bright in the sun’s light.
As far away, yet held by my own love.
Grounded into the dirt of the train tracks.
Can't be over run.
Climbing Adventure within the Red Rocks Canyon
11262018-11272018
I joined Ivan Cross in Red Rocks Canyon, taking a Greyhound from Los Angeles to Las Vegas.
We first began our approach towards the Brownstone Wall within the Juniper Canyon. Along the way, we ran into boulders where iron had oxidized into a fascinating polka dot fashion.
We hiked for about 2 hours before reaching the brownstone wall. We got our gear on and went up The Nightcrawler. I succeeded at my first chimney climb, although, it was emotionally demanding. I worked through it and pushed on up, feeling more strength than I had in a while. However, I completed it with pride. I fell into a mild hypothermia and was unable to fill in my promise of a belayer.
We went back to our camps, rested, and slept amongst the ice cold stars. After our morning oatmeal with peanut butter, we packed out bags once more, and began our 3 hour hike towards The Schwa, a classic crack climb within Red Rock Canyon from the 70’s. Also, my first attempt at crack climbing, at least I got two moves up the wall, failed the rest but I was happy to see Ivan complete a goal of his.
Places I have visited
01/01/2022-09012022
Las Vegas
Los Ángeles
Mexico City
Pachuca mx
San Miguel de Allende
Scottsdale Arizona
White sands national park
Carlsbad caverns
Rockwell Texas
Burning man black rock city
08252019-09022019
Burning Man, Black Rock City
06062019
Transparent Utopia Art Gallery in Laguna Beach, CA
05182019
We Rise L.A. Art Show
05072019-05102019
Lightening in a Bottle
04122019-04142019
Lucidity Festival
02172019-02212019
Cancun,
Chichen-Itza
Cobá
Xplor
11292018
Red Rocks Canyon, NV
Arizona Hot Springs, AZ
Experience tickets
08252019-0912019: Burning Man, Black Rock City
12082018: Compound LA Fall 2018 One Year Anniversary with RRose, The Lotus Eater
11292018 Greyhound Las Vegas, NV to Los Angeles, CA
11252018 Greyhound Los Angeles, CA to Las Vegas, NV
11222018: Respect DnB Goldie/DJ Hype
11172018: Designercon 2018 (vip)
11012018: Respect DnB Aphrodite
10302018: Spaceyacht with I_O (vip)
10132018: Burning Man LA Decompression
10052018-10072018: Skulpturengarten at Reef L.A.
09292018: Tra(n)smundo JAUS Gallery show
08252018: Garage Gallery 3 year Anniversary Art Show
05252018: Fever Ray
01122018: Into Action Opening Night
12282017: Kartchner Caverns State Park; Rotunda/Thorne, Big Room
12312017-01012018: NYE with Xellerated
08172018-08232017: Symbiosis; Oregon Eclipse
Hoover Dam towards the Great Canyon
Coming into Arizona from Vegas, one just must stop at the infamous Hoover dam. An extraordinary man-made engineering wonder of the world. A scary notion of man's succession of controlling nature's wildest, the Colorado River.
Whether you anticipate its scale or not, please be prepared to drop your jaw through the dam itself. It's massive force of stout capabilities.
I ended up camping near the entrance to Grand Canyon, I awoke to snow around my campsite. I was unaware of it as I had arrived late in the evening darkness. A nice little surprise, if you may. I collected the dirt from the ground, placed it in a test tube, lit a joint, and rode off towards the great Grand Canyon.
From the Shades of a White Heaven
A freshly painted heaven, covered in green chlorophyll, surrounding itself with rocks of solid fear.
As an illusion of utopia is covered above my weary head, a distopia hides somewhere in the midst of it all. Don’t be alarmed by its beauty, take a step towards the truth hidden in the crevices of these natural formations. Just a step closer! Look! what we’ve created. The amazing human race with its constant need for consumerism and ooh ahh the ever so pretty packaging. The packaging that Mother Nature wishes back.
A start to a new project. Experimentations included.